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I'm Perfect, You're Doomed: Tales from a Jehovah's Witness Upbringing, by Kyria Abrahams
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From Publishers Weekly
When Abrahams was growing up, her world was neatly divided between those who would live forever in a paradise on earth and all the "worldly" people her Jehovah's Witness family prayed for. Her congregation forbade Christmas and Halloween, aggressively shunned anyone who left the fold and taught children that birthday parties were of the devil. For kicks in her early teens, Abrahams would go witnessing door-to-door with her pal Lisa, a die-hard J-Dub. This acerbic, witty memoir chronicles the first 23 years of Abraham's life with candor and a good dose of comedy. Unlike other memoirs written by the disenchanted, Abrahams musters some affection for her decent but screwed-up family, and even for the religion itself. Where the story hits a rough patch is in her account of her late teens and early 20s, when she dropped out of high school; rushed into a disastrous teen marriage; fell into alcohol, drugs and adultery; and finally "fired Jehovah as [her] personal bodyguard" and became an apostate divorcée. None of this is particularly funny, and Abrahams's tale of self-destruction ends abruptly enough that readers will wonder how she managed to pull herself together. (Mar. 3) Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
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From Booklist
*Starred Review* Given that Abrahams is now a stand-up comic and spoken-word poet, it makes perfect sense to begin her very funny memoir with her performance debut at the Pawtucket, Rhode Island, Kingdom Hall, at age 8 (her presentation was about freedom from demon possession). She describes the children’s books she read as a child as a cross between “Dr. Seuss rhymes and tales of how sinners would scream and gnash their teeth at Armageddon.†In her world, Smurfs were “little blue demons†and yard sales were enticements from Satan. As a bored teenager with OCD, she didn’t know what to do with herself or how to make sense of the world. On the verge of 18, she married a 24-year-old part-time college math teacher because, even if his interest in her was, at best, halfhearted, she wanted a boyfriend and didn’t know any other Jehovah’s Witnesses who liked her. Anyway, she reasons, “this is what adults did, and I was an adult.â€Â It wasn’t long before she longed to be out of the marriage. Between threats of suicide, she tried to be “disfellowshipped,†or shunned, by her congregation, which proved surprisingly difficult to accomplish. Abrahams is a natural writer whose prose flows effortlessly as she easily mixes throwaway humor and painful memories in a compelling narrative. --June Sawyers
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Product details
Hardcover: 352 pages
Publisher: Touchstone (March 3, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1416556842
ISBN-13: 978-1416556848
Product Dimensions:
6.2 x 1 x 9.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.0 out of 5 stars
141 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#1,326,765 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
One of my favorite memoirs. Hilarious, self-aware, and eerily familiar. Though my own journey out of the JWs was, obviously, a very different and personal experience, I still find her raw honesty and self-deprecating humor to be very refreshing. Although works like Reed's Blood On The Altar give a number of important facts and a run-down of the history of this virulent christian sect in all it's authoritarian, life absorbing splendor, this is a more personal journey of self-discovery, of growing up and learning about how to be an adult, experiment with sexuality, and find one's self.So often JWs leave this particular cult to join more mainstream versions of Christianity. I have no problem with someone being a christian on a personal level, I just rarely hear my story told in the literature critical of The Watchtower Organization. It's not explicit that she is, like myself, an atheist necessarily but she doesn't move from one organization to another, larger organization that teaches you what and how to think. She just moves on with her life, deals with the shunning and the lack of support with honesty and integrity. She's just an imperfect human trying to struggle and survive and make mistakes and learn and that's all any of us are. It's also very funny in parts. Sorry for the slipshod review, I don't wish to turn this into my life story. Everyone should give this a read, whether familiar with controlling fundamentalist communities or not.
I have my own history with the watchtower. Although I was never a witness most of my family is. I have spent years being preached to and feeling judged and doomed. I could relate to the author plus I was raised within 40 minutes where the book takes place. I must confess I almost stopped reading the book because I became repulsed at her life choices but unfortunately many former witnesses make similar choices (my best friend was disfellowshipped twice). Kyria is a very funny author but about half way through this book is not funny and it becomes a real bummer regardless of humorous lines placed throughout. I am glad the author has moved on and she seems to have found happiness.
This book was very easy to read and she kept me interested. I was a Jehovah's Witness for 15 years between ages 8-23. I am now 29. That being said, this book has bothered me for days now because I feel like she published a book that gives us ex-Jehovah's Witnesses a bad name. Not once since I left did I cheat on my boyfriend or sleep with my best friends boyfriends...like wtf?! She's just a bad person regardless of what religion she was raised in. I've dabbled in drugs and have sex outside of marriage but I still know how to treat people.She also doesn't leave the reader with a good impression on the people she met outside of the religion. Every single one of my friends that I've made since I left are amazing and loving people and have further proved that my decision to leave was the right choice.I do not respect Jehovah's Witnesses or their religious views any longer, but I do know the difference between "going wild" after leaving and just being a sociopath. I don't know. I'm just confused by her.
This was a humorous look into someone breaking away from a religion designed to make it as painful as possible to break away from.Having been sheltered to a painful degree, she goes through a very hard learning experience Most people do not have to. It's easy to judge and see all the mistakes she made but it's a lot harder to understand why she made those mistakes and acting so stupidly. As someone who has gone through the same thing, I understand completely where she was at and how she was making those mistakes. Your world perceptions are so flawed and skewed by this religion that you simply have no idea of the way the world works, practicality or even logic in general.I would've liked to have received a little more information at the end of the book. By the end of the book, you are heavily invested in the authors life story and it would've been nice to know where she was at in her life when she finally finished this book. Bravo on revealing so much and opening your story up to strangers. This reading has been like a therapy session for some of the issues I'm still dealing with from my recent parting with this religion and, unfortunately, my family/friends. Like you, I have new friends and family that are loving and accepting, more so than my relatives ever were.
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